Been Tired; Random Thoughts

I'm feeling heavy. I've probably sighed too much in my head today. I wanna cuss at everything just to release tension.

Maybe I need to release some things. Maybe Kai's idea wasn't bad after all. I need a hangover -- a really bad hangover that's gonna make me drop down on the floor and let out a big breath of relief.

But what if vomit comes out. What if my head hurts so badly I end up wasting the whole day. That's a terrible idea.

I wanna do something that's gonna turn my life around in an instant. Something different. I could easily say I need to punch someone, or something, or do something dangerous. But then again, I believe there are positive ways to release stuff. Just gotta find the one I need.

I know this is coming from a lot of things, but I need someone to reassure me of greater things that I need to focus on. I could be sufficient enough to do that. /Frustrations of a small being trying to feel big./

I wanna be part of the society again. Like the good old days. Just playing with my friends, and doing shit together freely. Note: Together, and freely. I miss smiles that are undistracted. I miss the times where no ghosts are chasing after you inside your head. I miss thinking about real life stuff. I miss those days. 'Cos, this isn't the real life.

Luckily, these friends of mine still, on a lot of days, give me something to think about. And they make me feel part of their lives when they do. A sense of purpose! At least there's that.


More insights:

I'm really hungry right now. It's 4AM. I was ready to sleep 5 hours ago.
I believe they'll be friends again.
This is a three hour composition with lots of chat in between. I gave what I could.

Best advice my lazy brain could come up tonight: "Walang hindi cycle sa mundo."
Best advice I received is a pickup line: "may papakita ako sayo.......yung ngipin ko"

That one cracks me up so hard. Ry mentioned his expertise in making people look stupid. This is one of the things that would surefire make me look #1 stupid.

Kai and Ry in one post. Yes, I just did that.

by MKC at 2:09 AM