"When I fall in love it will be forever or I’ll never fall in love. When I give my heart it will be completely or I’ll never give my heart. And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too is when I fall in love with you."

- Nat King Cole

by MKC at 11:47 PM 0 comments

The Nerve

Some time ago, I was hit up by an old acquaintance in Facebook. We weren't really close before, and to be honest, I didn't think too well of him. I guess he was okay as a person, he wasn't really harmful, as long as I kept out of direct contact. To be clear, you know we have this gut instinct to keep away from people who we don't really feel like hanging out with, not only because we don't click, but also 'cause we find something off about them. And I mean off in, like, a non-agreeable way. Aside from that, personally, I hate that he tries so hard. That's not supposed to be bad, but somehow, to me, he had managed to appear quite selfish. Think hardcore opportunist. I didn't know they started so young.

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by MKC at 4:12 AM 0 comments

Broader

Sometimes, we rack our brains looking for an answer, and decide between two poles. We've got to remember, it's not always black or white. There could always be in-betweens.

by MKC at 1:14 AM 0 comments

But I Wanted to Go Outside

I was supposed to go out today just to get my outside world fix. Schedule just kept getting pushed towards the end of the day. What's the point of spending the rest of the day out, when I've already spent half the day at home? It's no good. I was thinking of spending the entire day outside. Now I'm bummed.

I can't help it. Like this, when everything's paused, my life just doesn't have any meaning.

by MKC at 3:52 PM 0 comments

Before I Go

You hurt me in the past

But I cannot ever repay you for the love you made me feel

And the person I've become from it.

I want to love again

Without you.

by MKC at 4:03 AM 0 comments

Lighter in Words

Too many bottled up emotions. When you put them into words, you will feel a bit lighter. It's not that they mean less afterwards. It's because it is then that you begin to understand them. And you'll realize they won't drown you after all.

by MKC at 12:59 AM 0 comments

Idle Thoughts

We have to become whole in the end
So we need growth, we need to see and feel it...
Given to someone, if not to ourselves.
Nothing else makes more sense, nothing gives you more fulfillment
Because it is something created.
And when you create something,
You can be satisfied,
Because you made a difference,
In the most humanistic sense.
You can look for joy, or happiness,
But when it has an effect to no one but yourself,
It will be a temporary escape; It will still leave you empty.

But, if you love someone,
You are constantly in the process of growing something.

 So maybe it's okay to keep looking.

by MKC at 11:00 PM 0 comments

Unintentionally Lead

I lost myself in wanting to be with you.
To be better is all I was after.
In the end, I failed to see,
I was only growing in a distant parallel to you.
Mimicking the footsteps you're taking
Which has all been a craft of my imagination.

by MKC at 4:31 PM 0 comments

QOTD

No one knows what the result will be when two people meet, and no one knows when they fall in love if they will always be able to stay that way; but to feel that at all, even for a minute, to find love and connection in a world gone mad, in my book, those are the lucky ones.

(via poeticheartache)

by MKC at 10:44 PM 0 comments

Disaster Averted (HFD)

Long distance shit. Can't help but avert myself. I hate being far away from people I love. Somebody needs to shed some light on its possibilities again, because right now I'm still pretty sick of it. My life has been mostly of  LDRs, and I wonder if it's always gonna be like that forever.

And so, I almost didn't greet my father a happy father's day. It took a lot of unexplainable emotions and tears that welled up at different points in the day before I got to. I do love him. Very much. And it's different kinds of joy I feel when he's home. I love listening to his stories, even if he's told them a thousand times. I would listen, and I would always know he would hurt some time at the end of one of his stories, when he takes a pause and he would look far away. He loves sharing about the things he did and didn't do that he silently wished the people from his past understood. And I love him, just him, most of all. I wish I grew up with him around more often. So despite my sickness of LDR, and my tendency to rebel against my mom's guilt-trips, I had to do it.

Along with my email of best wishes, and a picture of him and our pug, I attached a song I wanted him to enjoy. It's about a constant longing, very similar to what I feel during most days when he's away for work.

I'm sorry, Papa, for being a complicated daughter.

by MKC at 10:17 PM 0 comments