Things are not the same as they once were. I used to fall in love for the sake of just being with someone I felt right with. Love can be anywhere. I would fall right then and there whenever I see a person I knew I could love. It happened one by one; And one by one, they all passed. At some point in my life, I thought it was the most important thing to me. How can it not be? I enjoyed every minute with every tick of my brain, and every pulse of my heart whenever I was drunk in thoughts, in hopes, feelings dedicated to the one I loved.
Things have changed these days. Love, to me, appears more trivial than ever. Issues of practicality have complicated love even more, as if there were more things that mattered than just plain old loving someone. I think of distances and how they affect a relationship. It used to never matter. It shouldn't matter. I think of our pockets getting emptied, just to get our dose of fun -- just so we could build a bond. We do strengthen it with more experiences shared, right? I think of the ever-growing needs, and doubts of a person just arriving there in his/her head one morning he/she wakes, heightening his/her own standards. How do we keep up in these times?
I've somewhat grown unsure of myself. Back then, I used to hear everyone say they wanted to have just one relationship, and it will be forever. I, myself, wanted that and I was sure I could have it. But why is it that I'm still not settled, even after having fallen once or twice truthfully? I would always focus on one person, but why does it seem to me I always fall for the wrong one? My ideals were torn in front of my face once I hit an iceberg with the first one. Somehow in every relationship, both of us would not be enough. It's a heavy thought isn't it? Being enough; Enough to even compel someone to make sacrifices, to give and give and give. Personally, I just hate it. I hate that they ruined love for me. I'll just have to keep this shit out of my head so I can keep going the way I should.
A relevant picture I incidentally stumbled upon while writing this entry:
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