Monday, August 27, 2012

So Wrong Just Wrong


I think it's best to keep away from people who let money problems get to their heads so much that they can't even be talked to properly without their veins tensing up, and getting defensive.

That's a time I wish they'd get injected by some hippie-state-inducing drug.

I just think something's wrong with it.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Foolsome


Some people probably never realize they're already being a compulsive "deceiver" for the lack of a better term.

Actually, doesn't it make them liars when they just keep on neglecting to fulfill their commitments.

It really doesn't make anyone's life easier when people give false hopes.

Eventually the people around them will become tired of getting disappointed. And they'll forever be remembered as that person who never really does what he/she says he/she will do.

People should stop saying they'll do something they don't really plan on doing. They get people worked up, expecting something that will never happen. I for one feel like a fool for getting worked up a lot of times, from holding onto people's words. I don't think I'm being dramatic. If they had no plans of doing something, they should just hold back all flimsy promises.

Or better yet, we should all stop getting our hopes up.



Monday, August 20, 2012




Saturday, August 18, 2012

QOTD




Thursday, August 16, 2012

If Only...


Looks like I forgot to sleep... while doing nothing. Or was I? Still here in the living room. Must've been too cool tonight out here that I forgot about my bed and the artificial cool air of the AC.

Anyway, I'm just waiting for breakfast~ Fave meal of the day, which I almost always miss because of sleeping late. One more hour! And maybe I'll think of something better to talk about.

For the meantime, enjoy a picture of my dog through the night. She sure slept soundly.




Onward Without Anchors


Forget the past. For anyone's next would-be relationship, both sides of the party don't deserve anything less than they could give. Any other people who shouldn't be in the present picture is just that unnecessary baggage to carry in either one's mind. And to the people who know better than to sulk over the past, I tip my virtual lady hat to them.

Well, I tried to end on a positive note.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Shoo Negatives


I just have to be good, and stay good, and maybe I'll be okay. I might not be perfect but I think my life's been too carefully lived to even feel terrible about myself. I think they should just be happy for me.

Oh my gosh. I just hate the fact that we have to stick with people who don't really know us. We have emotions too you know. We just don't bother telling you what's up cuz you grown ups are such tough meat to swallow. Ugh. 

Please make up your mind. If you want us to do our thing then just let us, and stop telling us to do this and that "for our own good." It's so confusing.

They (He) Made Me Happy



Looks like we made it. This has been the most emotionally fulfilling thing I've done in a long time. *Exhale* I have no words for what I feel right now. It's just... great, personally. You know?

I'll always remember this performance.

Monday, August 06, 2012

Futility


At these times, no one's gonna come after you if you intentionally go away. So don't even try.

But try to just stay.

Thursday, August 02, 2012

Live On Your Own


I should know how to live alone. But I'm growing almost too attached to everyone's company. Basically, it's almost the same as any relationship issue, ones involving going through life with someone. You can't follow your own footsteps with someone walking along, unless it's done in a harmonious parallel. And that's never quite easy to attain.

So yeah, the past years I may have succumbed to some sort of conformity, a bit of dumbing down, and the likes. I'm still myself yeah, I've grown, but I've limited myself just by merely conforming. I don't mind being normal, but I guess the way I see myself these days is that I look pretty diluted. I don't really know, though.

Meh. I just don't want my dreams to disappear. If I've to want more then so be it.






(Source: lovepixies, via panicmajestic)

Monday, July 23, 2012


Whenever I hear "the pains of being pure at heart," I don't think of the band, I think of the thought. 

The pains of being pure at heart... It's something anyone of us could've thought when we did something we truly meant and ended up in a disappointment.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Been Tired; Random Thoughts


I'm feeling heavy. I've probably sighed too much in my head today. I wanna cuss at everything just to release tension.

Maybe I need to release some things. Maybe Kai's idea wasn't bad after all. I need a hangover -- a really bad hangover that's gonna make me drop down on the floor and let out a big breath of relief.

But what if vomit comes out. What if my head hurts so badly I end up wasting the whole day. That's a terrible idea.

I wanna do something that's gonna turn my life around in an instant. Something different. I could easily say I need to punch someone, or something, or do something dangerous. But then again, I believe there are positive ways to release stuff. Just gotta find the one I need.

I know this is coming from a lot of things, but I need someone to reassure me of greater things that I need to focus on. I could be sufficient enough to do that. /Frustrations of a small being trying to feel big./

I wanna be part of the society again. Like the good old days. Just playing with my friends, and doing shit together freely. Note: Together, and freely. I miss smiles that are undistracted. I miss the times where no ghosts are chasing after you inside your head. I miss thinking about real life stuff. I miss those days. 'Cos, this isn't the real life.

Luckily, these friends of mine still, on a lot of days, give me something to think about. And they make me feel part of their lives when they do. A sense of purpose! At least there's that.


More insights:

I'm really hungry right now. It's 4AM. I was ready to sleep 5 hours ago.
I believe they'll be friends again.
This is a three hour composition with lots of chat in between. I gave what I could.

Best advice my lazy brain could come up tonight: "Walang hindi cycle sa mundo."
Best advice I received is a pickup line: "may papakita ako sayo.......yung ngipin ko"

That one cracks me up so hard. Ry mentioned his expertise in making people look stupid. This is one of the things that would surefire make me look #1 stupid.

Kai and Ry in one post. Yes, I just did that.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Headful, Mouthful


Spent the day with Ash. Had a lot of questions. She did too. We never ran out; We never run out. It's good to have a buddy like that -- Someone you can talk with endlessly. I felt my throat getting sore before we called it a day, but to be honest, I didn't want things to end there. I was going home again. Back to just me. No one to listen and respond to what I have in mind. I've mentioned this to another friend of mine, Bianca, how it gets lonely at home as I'm usually by myself. And I hit it right when I told her, 'cause she was an only child. She should know, of all people, how it felt to be alone. She said that I'd get used to it and she's probably right. But when I can't, I do something about it.

I feel blessed, if that's the most appropriate term, that I've friends to run to. I could be, at times, saying humdrum stuff, or things that are borderline philosophical, and I'm glad for all the times someone is there to listen.

I do appreciate it, terribly enough to write about it. I'm feeling pretty emotional.

I'll be looking for more answers, or more distractions, whichever comes, for the meantime.

Monday, July 09, 2012

The Small Things Matter (a re-blog)


This must be pretty old since I came across this story while backreading posts of years ago. I've forgotten about the story, and how nice it was and it's just great that I read it again. So here it goes:


This one time I painted a living room with a girl.

This was a handful of years back. It was about eight months before the huge, flame-out of a breakup. That day, though? That day we painted the living room? It was pretty uneventful. We painted my parents living room for $50 between us and a pizza. That was it. I think we watched Anchorman or something after that.

But it still holds as on of the most indelible memories I have. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not still in love, it happened, it was good, it ended, and we’ve both moved on. But I’ll never forget that day. Because it’s never, in the long run, about the grand gestures. You can fly across the world and show up on her doorstep with a rose in your teeth and a ring in a little velvet box but I can guarantee you that - more often than not - she’s going to remember the time you built the birdhouse in the back yard, or what have you, a whole lot more.

Life wasn’t meant to be taken in large movements. The next day will inevitably arrive, you’ll sleep, and the moment will have passed. But when you have a hundred thousand small moments, you can step back and appreciate the picture a lot more than metaphorically blowing your load on some grand moment that, in all honesty, look, you’re not Bruce Fucking Springsteen, you’re not going to be able to blow everyone’s mind every single night. You’re not Romeo and/or Juliet. There’s no reason to drink the poison together in some flame-out gesture. So that leaves us with the small stuff. It’s all about the detail.

That’s what love is. Attention to detail.

And the moment will end. And then things will get boring. And it might get a little quiet. And it might all end horribly. And you might hate eachother at the end. And you might walk away from eachother one day and never speak again. But that’s just how it goes.

But she’ll remember the time you held the door open for her on your first date.
She’ll remember the time you laughed at her impression of the landlady.
She’ll remember the time you stayed up all night that first time.
She’ll remember the small things a lot longer than the big ones.

But everything ends. And I’ll tell you why you have to make the small things, the small moments count so much more:

One day, probably a while longer from now, when old age takes ahold of someone, she might just only remember your smile. Everything you ever did together, every second, every moment, every beat, every morning spent in bed, every evening spent together on the sofa, all of that - gone. Everything you ever did will be reduced to the head of a pin. She won’t remember your name. She’ll just remember your smile, and she’ll smile. She won’t know why. It’s a base, gut reaction. But she’ll smile, uncontrollably, and it will come from somewhere so deep as to know that you touched her on a primal, honest, and true level that no scientist, scholar, or savant could ever begin to explain. There is no more. There is nothing else. There is just this: She’ll remember your smile, and she’ll smile.

And you know what? That’s all that really matters in the end.

Source: nedhepburn

I Traveled Worlds


His world has expanded. Too many streets to tread, too many faces to remember, too many people to keep around. He will select a few, and stick with them just as he needs to; Just as his station in time and space is there. They're all temporary, but it doesn't matter. His clock moves, and he cannot afford to be empty. But I remember when his whole world was me. And he was full.

Friday, July 06, 2012

Friendship Woes


*bear sigh*
Sometimes, my friends get the best of me. I feel for them when they're down and I'm into offering them what I can. But there are things that I find difficult to handle. I dunno if my issue is the topic of the problem itself or the attitude of the friend I'm trying to help. Truthfully, I am turned off by self-destructive personalities, and emotional vampires. And when I realize I can't offer anything they would consider, or if I cannot get myself to understand their situation , I can't help but run. Not just run, but really, run far away. And I know it sucks how easily I surrender but, really, how can you help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Also, how can I help someone without having a good grasp of what their situation must be like. I feel too incompetent for some situations at times and I can't accept it. And the friends I've let down are piling up...

Sometimes I think I do too much helping. Sometimes I don't think all of them can listen to me the way I do to them. I just hope there will always be someone I can run to whenever I need an ear.


I wish you don't end up becoming too futile to help. I can't feel like a friend if I think I'm incapable of giving you anything. But then I'm also selfish because I don't want any of your bad parts.

Thursday, July 05, 2012

Tender is the Word


I'm aware of my innate naivete, and I've been easygoing about most stuff. I'm mostly positive about some of the experiences I had, and I take it as things that contributed to my "growth." But I also think, some of them never deserved that chance to break me. The more you break, the more fears you grow. I know my fears weren't like this before.

Talking or not talking about love, a lot of things has changed. I could see the image depicting mainly how people are bound to affect the way we live, in one way or another.

Friday, June 29, 2012


"When I fall in love it will be forever or I’ll never fall in love. When I give my heart it will be completely or I’ll never give my heart. And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too is when I fall in love with you."

- Nat King Cole

Thursday, June 28, 2012

The Nerve


Some time ago, I was hit up by an old acquaintance in Facebook. We weren't really close before, and to be honest, I didn't think too well of him. I guess he was okay as a person, he wasn't really harmful, as long as I kept out of direct contact. To be clear, you know we have this gut instinct to keep away from people who we don't really feel like hanging out with, not only because we don't click, but also 'cause we find something off about them. And I mean off in, like, a non-agreeable way. Aside from that, personally, I hate that he tries so hard. That's not supposed to be bad, but somehow, to me, he had managed to appear quite selfish. Think hardcore opportunist. I didn't know they started so young.


Broader


Sometimes, we rack our brains looking for an answer, and decide between two poles. We've got to remember, it's not always black or white. There could always be in-betweens.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

But I Wanted to Go Outside


I was supposed to go out today just to get my outside world fix. Schedule just kept getting pushed towards the end of the day. What's the point of spending the rest of the day out, when I've already spent half the day at home? It's no good. I was thinking of spending the entire day outside. Now I'm bummed.

I can't help it. Like this, when everything's paused, my life just doesn't have any meaning.

Before I Go



You hurt me in the past
But I cannot ever repay you for the love you made me feel
And the person I've become from it.

I want to love again
Without you.

Lighter in Words


Too many bottled up emotions. When you put them into words, you will feel a bit lighter. It's not that they mean less afterwards. It's because it is then that you begin to understand them. And you'll realize they won't drown you after all.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Idle Thoughts


We have to become whole in the end
So we need growth, we need to see and feel it...
Given to someone, if not to ourselves.
Nothing else makes more sense, nothing gives you more fulfillment
Because it is something created.
And when you create something,
You can be satisfied,
Because you made a difference,
In the most humanistic sense.
You can look for joy, or happiness,
But when it has an effect to no one but yourself,
It will be a temporary escape; It will still leave you empty.

But, if you love someone,
You are constantly in the process of growing something.

 So maybe it's okay to keep looking.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Unintentionally Lead


I lost myself in wanting to be with you.
To be better is all I was after.
In the end, I failed to see,
I was only growing in a distant parallel to you.
Mimicking the footsteps you're taking
Which has all been a craft of my imagination.




Sunday, June 17, 2012

QOTD


No one knows what the result will be when two people meet, and no one knows when they fall in love if they will always be able to stay that way; but to feel that at all, even for a minute, to find love and connection in a world gone mad, in my book, those are the lucky ones.

Disaster Averted (HFD)


Long distance shit. Can't help but avert myself. I hate being far away from people I love. Somebody needs to shed some light on its possibilities again, because right now I'm still pretty sick of it. My life has been mostly of  LDRs, and I wonder if it's always gonna be like that forever.

And so, I almost didn't greet my father a happy father's day. It took a lot of unexplainable emotions and tears that welled up at different points in the day before I got to. I do love him. Very much. And it's different kinds of joy I feel when he's home. I love listening to his stories, even if he's told them a thousand times. I would listen, and I would always know he would hurt some time at the end of one of his stories, when he takes a pause and he would look far away. He loves sharing about the things he did and didn't do that he silently wished the people from his past understood. And I love him, just him, most of all. I wish I grew up with him around more often. So despite my sickness of LDR, and my tendency to rebel against my mom's guilt-trips, I had to do it.

Along with my email of best wishes, and a picture of him and our pug, I attached a song I wanted him to enjoy. It's about a constant longing, very similar to what I feel during most days when he's away for work.


I'm sorry, Papa, for being a complicated daughter.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Dentist and a Fish-shaped Ice Cream


Arrived a bit too early at the soon-to-be full-fledged dentist today. Had fun mostly. I like sitting in dentist chairs, and getting lightheaded. Too much curiosity as to where my third molars were lead us to a single tooth x-ray expedition. Turns out they were impacted in my mandible. Whoopeeyay.

And what do you know. Fate even decided to complete the dental experience with ice cream in the afternoon. Here's today's special treat. Thanks to my friend Hazy for finally directing me to this delicious and ingenious ice cream~

It costs fifty pesos. I will never eat one again. Unless it's already paid for. (a.k.a I will steal your ice cream if you're holding one.)

Dental Stuff


Have to get up early tomorrow. I'm gonna get my teeth cleaned by a friend. She's a dentist of course.

I still think that 8:30am sched sucks. Now that there's tension in sleeping early, I have to relieve some of it by admitting I might not be able to sleep well tonight. Wish me luck. (in sleeping)

Hooray for the most interesting topic of the year.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Things Are Different Now


Things are not the same as they once were. I used to fall in love for the sake of just being with someone I felt right with. Love can be anywhere. I would fall right then and there whenever I see a person I knew I could love. It happened one by one; And one by one, they all passed. At some point in my life, I thought it was the most important thing to me. How can it not be? I enjoyed every minute with every tick of my brain, and every pulse of my heart whenever I was drunk in thoughts, in hopes, feelings dedicated to the one I loved.

Things have changed these days. Love, to me, appears more trivial than ever. Issues of practicality have complicated love even more, as if there were more things that mattered than just plain old loving someone. I think of distances and how they affect a relationship. It used to never matter. It shouldn't matter. I think of our pockets getting emptied, just to get our dose of fun -- just so we could build a bond. We do strengthen it with more experiences shared, right? I think of the ever-growing needs, and doubts of a person just arriving there in his/her head one morning he/she wakes, heightening his/her own standards. How do we keep up in these times?

I've somewhat grown unsure of myself. Back then, I used to hear everyone say they wanted to have just one relationship, and it will be forever. I, myself, wanted that and I was sure I could have it. But why is it that I'm still not settled, even after having fallen once or twice truthfully? I would always focus on one person, but why does it seem to me I always fall for the wrong one? My ideals were torn in front of my face once I hit an iceberg with the first one. Somehow in every relationship, both of us would not be enough. It's a heavy thought isn't it? Being enough; Enough to even compel someone to make sacrifices, to give and give and give. Personally, I just hate it. I hate that they ruined love for me. I'll just have to keep this shit out of my head so I can keep going the way I should.

A relevant picture I incidentally stumbled upon while writing this entry:


How My Summer Ended


Here's an overview of the Anawangin trip this summer which we impulsively planned way back in January:


We took our 2nd bus ride to Zambales around 8am. Views have fully changed to the rural feel.

We took a boat ride to Capones island. Look at those colors. Everything was bright that day.

Here's a view of Capones island. The clouds were low and cast shadows on a side of the island.

I was trying to catch a shot of the island while on a moving boat. White, blue, and green. Every part of the scene was striking.

A closer view of Capones island. We were already on the shallower part of the sea and the water has become clearer and has a beautiful bright blue hue.

The waves were strong but calming. I wanted to swim right then and there, but we weren't dressed properly. :(

Climbing atop some rocks would get you a great wide view of the sea.

This was the pathway to the sea. We were heading back after 45 mins on the island. She insisted on calling it "mangungubat kami."

My hand against the clear waters. I miss my untanned arm.

I took this shot while I was lying down on our tent. I've never experienced outdoor camping like this before. Made me warm and happy inside.

Another view from the tent with fisheye effect while lying down. The pines grew separately from the other trees. 

During our first night, we went stargazing on the shore. There were a thousand stars that night that went to the horizon. The moon can be seen in this picture.

We hiked the trail which lead up to a small mountain on our second day. Parts of the trail were too steep and would go almost too vertical. It was tough but fun.

A view of Anawangin.

The damp tents, and the rain just in time before heading back during our last day are probably the worst parts of the trip. I got sick the whole week after. I was exhausted and had sore muscles all over. But despite those things, I was missing the place after getting back home. The most memorable parts for me are the strong waves which we all learned to swim, and lying on the beach to stargaze at night.

Anyway, I sort of decided I'm not for these kinds of trips. The environment is too harsh for me. Even though I enjoy being rough-- climbing, swimming, and running, I'm not friends with the sun. I wanted a tan, but after getting "some", I realized I spent years trying to make my skintone even and there I spent the time wrecking my years of patience in a snap. Haha. Arte. I was even too reckless to go hiking without sunscreen. (I thought my friends didn't put any on, but it was only after the climb I discovered they all did.) And during our stay, the only sunscreen I used for my face were makeup. I doubt they were waterproof. Siiigh. We don't always need too much activities to enjoy right? Next time, it's gonna be a nice resort, and some cool drinks I'll be heading to.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

A Little Q&A to Tell You What's Up


Sorry if I've never gotten over surveys. Does this make me any less of a person to you?
  • 1: Full name: You know me.
  • 2: Zodiac sign: Aquarius
  • 3: 3 Fears: Old age, Being unhappy, Being alone
  • 4: 3 things I love: Julia our pug, Learning, Traveling
  • 5: 4 turn ons: smart, likes being himself (self-secure), positive, emotionally stable
  • 6: 4 turn offs: airhead, liar, irresponsible, not God-fearing

This Sad Face



It's true
I find you 
So cutieooooh.

Julia-bear's plopped down on the bed, head and all. Can't resist it's cuteness!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Bibimbap



Remember that bibimbap dupstep commercial they made on GSL last season? It was the first thing that introduced me to bibimbap and now I've finally done it. To be honest, I don't really cook. But when the current maids cook like crap, you've no other choice but to take it in your own fairly capable hands. Woulda been nice if my father was able to help since he was there to buy the ingredients with me, but sadly he's already gone away for work this afternoon.


QOTD


"I like people with depth, I like people with emotion, I like people with a strong mind, an interesting mind, a twisted mind, and also someone that can make me smile."

- Abbey Lee Kershaw

Up for the Entire Night


Tonight I woke up at 12 midnight. It's not that strange but I wish my body would stop doing that. You know, getting drowsy at an early point in the night, and then waking up and finding yourself awake the rest of the night. Now I got nothing to do. Tomorrow's Independence Day so whoopee! We're all gonna be home together. And yes, that makes me happy, 'cause we don't get that a lot.

Seen today's Google logo?



Sunday, June 10, 2012

Don't Take It Away


I may be inch by inch stepping away from my dreams and I can't help but blame everything I'm doing to kill any impulsive wants, and hopes right now. And it doesn't help that I'm forced to stay at home when all there is here two-thirds of a month is nowhere near a family.

I've been feeling like she's being passive aggressive to me about this all. This house doesn't feel like home at all when both my sis and my father are away. There can be no happiness at all during those times, and I'd have to find ways to cheer myself up, and not be affected. But some days, there's just no escape. I dunno. I find that she just can't balance family with work. Surely, I've got a lot of problems with her right now. If only I could tell her, but I can't. We weren't raised that way. We weren't raised to talk back and question them because for the longest time, they've been giving us the best they could, and they've been all about giving us a satisfactory life. Whatever drama they're dealing with, they always keep from us. Basically, we've been sheltered.



Saturday, June 09, 2012

QOTD


"That proves you are unusual,” returned the Scarecrow, “and I am convinced that the only people worthy of consideration in this world are the unusual ones. For the common folks are like the leaves of a tree, and live and die unnoticed."
—  L. Frank Baum, The Marvelous Land of Oz


Friday, June 08, 2012

Yesterday News


Guess what. I finally got my adviser change. Finally. Now I'm hoping to get things done. So no dancing yet. Pray for me. Universe, please conspire and help me. I beg of you. Too much time has been wasted and... Well, I didn't even notice, and I would not be able to notice as long as I'm in limbo a.k.a. float mode. Seriously, I need to move on from this. This is my last chance.

Anyway Tin, Dawi, and Mauro kinda had to coerce me into doing it cos, you know, I'm a weak kind of person when it comes to responsibility. (But hey, don't think I'm that irresponsible.) I was thinking of all the negative what-ifs, and I didn't know how to do it. So they were basically like "come on go for it, she loves advisees, that's basically her status -- 'I love getting new advisees'," and all that nonsense. Now I'm glad that's done cos I know deep in my heart I needed it. Um, yeah.



Saturday, June 02, 2012

Here It Goes Again


I'm still a bit unsettled on the idea of blogging. I know I love to write cos I find it effective for compiling my thoughts, and because... I dunno, my brain's very busy. But if I were to blog publicly, I would have to accept the fact that I am letting just about anyone in. I wouldn't want that since people have a tendency to assume they know you just because they know but a piece of your mind.

Anyhow, I still find it pretty useful, and would love it if my friends blogged. Sadly, it's not a thing to everyone.


"There’s something sacred about reading a blog post on someone else’s site. It’s like visiting a friend’s house for a quick meal ’round the breakfast table. It’s personal — you’re in their space, and the environment is uniquely suited for idea exchange and uninterrupted conversation. In many ways, we should be treating our blogs like our breakfast tables. Be welcoming & gracious when you host, and kind & respectful when visiting."
— Trent Walton

QOTD


“It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.”

— Nicholas Sparks

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Taboo Bears



They're lookin sharp.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Felt Dead



Suddenly got back to coding since our game requirement. But then it didn’t last long. Now I remember why I hated it. “Coding is a way of life,” you say. More like a dead way of life.

I feel like I’m wasting my time coding on/for machines. Like, even if I get it done, it doesn’t feel like an achievement. It really only gets to me after having spent “too long” working on something.

Friday, March 16, 2012

QOTD



You know when, sometimes you meet someone so beautiful, and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later, they’re as dull as a brick? Then there’s other people, and you meet them and you think, ‘Not bad; they’re okay.’ And then you get to know them, and their face sort of becomes them, like their personality is written all over it. And they just turn into something so beautiful.

Amelia Pond 

Monday, March 12, 2012

Early Good Writers


Did all the writers before read a lot of books? I would think a good lot of them would not trust reading others’ pieces in fear of contaminating their own style. And I bet those real good writers just were innately good at whatever they were doing.

I'm not saying I'm against reading, but I just want to give credit to natural talent. Some people are just more in touch with expression through words. And some become more eloquent from reading more than others. Anyway, I also think it would be a mistake to assume anyone who has read a lot would immediately make a him or her admirable.

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Hum Cryptic



I miss being inspired. There’s something about it that stirs up things inside of you urging your emotions to come out and pushing you to do things you wouldn’t usually do — things that no matter how ugly could still be beautiful in the same way the roots that caused it are.

I’m a blank head these days. Nothing good can come out. I could babble on and on about random things and it wouldn’t have any meaning. Not to me. I can’t blame that it’s not the right time of the night. There’s just really nothing remarkable happening. Not when I’m always avoiding it.

Saturday, March 03, 2012

A Desire.


I don't want to live in a small world. I want to be able to live anonymously in a large city, get lost among the countless people there, who are equally anonymous but living their lives. I want to be surrounded by good people, who are on top of the world with their culture. I want a large availability of things to do wherever I am. I don't want restrictions. I don't want to be watched. I don't want to be judged. Contradictory to all this, I want to be surrounded by people who make me happy, people I love, people who matter to me, people who know me well. I want to be in my comfort zone, my element, and these could all be it. I want to live.

Sometimes I get too disappointed by my own country.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Oh No You Don't (Oh No I Don't)


Already feeling pretty ready to sleep. But it’s on this time of the night that I am as usual on my fave hang out sites, just to take a peek before heading to sleep. Next thing I know I’ve already spent three hours “taking a peek.”

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Friends... Who Aren't Really


Some people have a very loose attitude towards friendship. I’m not like that. When you are a friend, I must feel you are really one, or just someone who knows how to be friendly. When you start clinging, it’s fine I guess, but don’t go expecting much from me. I swear to you, you will not be able to depend on me for shit.

Also, us hanging out doesn’t mean we’re friends. Especially if I cannot hold any respect for you. Which could be because I cannot take your attitude, or behavior towards me or other people. Most especially if you keep disrespecting me. It's not cool, even if I act like it is.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

QOTD



I think I’m greedy, but I’m not greedy for money – I think that can be a burden – I’m greedy for an exciting life. I want it to be exciting all the time, and I get it, actually. On the other hand, I can find excitement, I admit, in raindrops falling on a puddle and a lot of people wouldn’t. I intend to have it exciting until the day I fall over.

David Hockney