Long distance shit. Can't help but avert myself. I hate being far away from people I love. Somebody needs to shed some light on its possibilities again, because right now I'm still pretty sick of it. My life has been mostly of LDRs, and I wonder if it's always gonna be like that forever.
And so, I almost didn't greet my father a happy father's day. It took a lot of unexplainable emotions and tears that welled up at different points in the day before I got to. I do love him. Very much. And it's different kinds of joy I feel when he's home. I love listening to his stories, even if he's told them a thousand times. I would listen, and I would always know he would hurt some time at the end of one of his stories, when he takes a pause and he would look far away. He loves sharing about the things he did and didn't do that he silently wished the people from his past understood. And I love him, just him, most of all. I wish I grew up with him around more often. So despite my sickness of LDR, and my tendency to rebel against my mom's guilt-trips, I had to do it.
Along with my email of best wishes, and a picture of him and our pug, I attached a song I wanted him to enjoy. It's about a constant longing, very similar to what I feel during most days when he's away for work.
I'm sorry, Papa, for being a complicated daughter.
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