The Only Thing Left

How far have I gotten over you? Until now, a lot of questions I throw at myself and a lot of looking back can catch me uncertain of the answer. I remember quite well the times just after you left, when I still found myself talking to you in my mind as if you were still there, ready and eagerly listening to my every thoughts. You told me you always liked to hear whatever I said. And you were even the one who would try to ease me into thinking I could tell you everything I had in mind. I've gotten used to imagining us together. I've gotten used to dreaming, believing in the day we finally spend together. That hangover was long gone. For a while I could not face the truth and I just blocked away all the thoughts. Now, I believe I've locked them all away, but still bits of what was unresolved manage to seep out.

I've been meaning to break this habit of mine already. I've been up the whole night again, without any intention of going to sleep. Anyway, I'm losing weight in the process and I don't like it. Aaah, time to fix myself up, definitely!

by MKC at 6:32 AM 0 comments

Strangers

Since the day I discovered the nothingness I find in the pieces of memories he left, here I am once again for the nth consecutive time convincing everyone how true my findings were. I guess there's a part of me that still finds it unbelievable somehow. What once consumed me every minute of the week, holds no relevance to me now. Yes, it was a death. An untimely one at that. And the fact I have always deemed it as something so pure, so true and innocent makes it all the more tragic. But, really. Isn't it sad when a good part of someone dies? And there's nothing you can do other than let it be.

What's more unbelievable is this capability of humans to forget. In time, we are able to wash out from that special place in us those things we ever treasured about someone. I'm making it sound easy, so let me just add: It isn't. Anyway, isn't it funny? Would that make all that's been shared, all that's been given, and all that's been sacrificed, lies? Why does the world even allow that to happen - that even after getting to the point of being truly close with someone, the world would still allow you to turn back into strangers?

Now that I can't seem to pull out any sort of feeling from what was left of you, I can't help but wonder how... How did I ever get so fond of you?

You look horribly unattractive.

That's just me questioning how I was physically attracted to someone like you. But I know better. I know better than anyone else who ever questioned the same. You captured me with a simple message. What sort of being could possibly do that? Spending time with you was so enjoyable and fulfilling. I was drawn in by whatever you threw at me, happiness or sadness it may be.

Wow. I'm sorry I forgot about you. Even when I assured myself I wouldn't.

by MKC at 5:52 AM 0 comments